the internet is an awful place.  for all the things i like about it there is something else i hate, no ground is ever made and i am constantly treading in the same damned place.

i cannot stand the fact that i willingly, upwards of 20 times a day, log in to a website that reminds me relentlessly that there are hundreds of people doing funner things than anything i will do in a 24 hour period.  i am reminded of my inadequacies.  i am told over and over again that i am single.  my ex is shoved in my face by applications i have no control over.  this site makes me miserable.

but the kicker?

i go back on my own volition, every single day, because i am convinced that if i delete my account i wills suddenly become unreachable, as if i don't have a phone number or an email account.  i cannot stand the idea of not getting invitations to events and shows that i will not attend in the first place.  without facebook, i do not exist.

or do i?

if you look at my wall, the only posts come from a pool of about 10-15 people, a respectable social group.  my friends list boasts 240 people.  so, if only 10-15 people post regularly on my wall and photos, then...who the hell are these other 225 people?

my personality has been taken from me.
or rather, i gave it away to an algorithm and a poisonous site and then i have the nerve to complain about it being invasive, misleading and insulting.