the band (whose record i used as a gift to first tell him "i love you")
is playing tonight at sophia's (where we had our first date)

everything is too relevant, too now
i feel PANIC.

so of course, my natural reaction is to drive home to my dad where we can play scrabble and eat food and fall asleep watching TV because we're cut from the same cloth, we are, we are.

and there will be no mention of boys or olive juice or Dawes or balcony B or that suit vest he wore or kissing him in the dark outside his bedroom door and thinking yes yes yes thiscouldbesomething.

no mention of the things that make me want to cry.