...i really should stay far, far away from the internet whilst under any kind of influence. the universe had it's revenge by giving me a babysitting job the next day and making me throw up in the parking lot on my way there. looking after two kids on winter break all hyper from cupcakes while hungover is not my idea of a good time.
i'm home for the holidays now, and sick as a dog - again. last night was only 2 or 3 hours of sleep as i was up coughing for most of it. it's so frustrating, this persistent illness. i'm thinking i might have to go to the doctor, because honestly, i'm falling apart at the seams and it makes me think that there's something seriously wrong with me. the fact that i'm terrfied of the doctor doesn't help. i avoid them like the plague but i don't think i should anymore. something in my head tells me that i am sicksick, not just "oh, it's a winter cold" sick.
but i'm trying to stay positive. there is a fire in the fireplace and the tree has massive piles of presents underneath it. i spent a good while wrapping this afternoon, fixing giant bows to tiny packages while listening to tegan and sara in the comfort of my at-home bedroom. the only thing missing is jordan, on the road to santa cruz, but i'm wearing his hoodie and the necklace he gave me for christmas and that's almost as good, right?
i'm ready to go home soon, to be back in my comfort zone, to be healthy and warm and full again. for now, though, hot cocoa and my parent's big screen tv is doing fine for me.
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